1. The Wolf Of Wall Street
I read the book, so I’ve spent enough time on this story. Also, because my pal Jordan Belfort should have played himself. Leonardio DiCaprio doesn’t have the charisma the real “wolf” does. Watch:
2. 42 – why remake the story of Jackie Robinson when the real Jackie Robinson starred in a movie in 1950 called The Jackie Robinson Story?
3. The Butler – like 42 and this year’s Fruitvale Station and Blue Caprice, it was a bad year for the truth in movies about real-life African-Americans. All four of these movies were “inspired by” real people and their stories which, while interesting enough to be made into a movie, were not considered interesting enough for an audience without embellishment. Sad.
4. R.I.P.D. – because it looks like they forgot to add the “O” and “A.”
5. The Great Gatsby – because I’m still having acid flashbacks from director Baz Luhrmann’s atrocious Moulin Rouge. Also, Leonardo DiCaprio.
6. The Hobbit 2: The Desolation of Smaug – That title doesn’t even make sense. It sounds like a movie about CGI gnomes struggling to live in smog. Non, merci.
7. Gravity – Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson’s tweets about the movie’s scientific implausibilities and common sense violations trumped the buzz, and I can’t imagine it would be more entertaining than the reporter who asked director Alfonso Cuarón what it was like to shoot a movie in space.
8. Man Of Steel – They lost me long before “it’s not an ‘S,’ it’s a symbol.” It is an ‘S’ and Superman will forever be Christopher Reeve.
9. The Counselor – I don’t want to see Javier Bardem’s temper tantrum over not being cast in American Hustle.
10. The Purge – Why is Ethan Hawke starring in a movie about bulimia?