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You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet – Vous n’avez encore rien vu. Nothin’ to See Here.

   Confession:  I ain’t seen but 17 minutes of  You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet.  I couldn’t stand to see “nothin'” for another moment.  I have mistakenly told festival-goers that this is Resnais’ last film.  I thought he had died, but he is still among us.  However, he is 91 years old, so it could be his last movie. I have not seen all of Resnais’ movies (there’s beaucoup), ...

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The Tents – Bye Bye Bryant Park

    Documentaries about the fashion industry have become so ubiquitous, it’s hard to distinguish one from another.  One sees the same faces, hears nothing but praise and pretentious gibberish, and is reminded that they are an outsider, granted a glimpse to where the cool people are via the privilege of watching the movie. The Tents is not the worst of this œuvre, it actually offers an interesting ...

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The Life and Crimes of Doris Payne – The Pink Panther Was A Black Woman

       Does crime pay?  Kirk Marcolina and Matthew Pond’s documentary The Life and Crimes of Doris Payne makes sure the answer is more complicated than “yes or no.”  Pond thinks “She’s …achieved the American dream in a sense.” That’s quite an interesting comment from a co-director of a movie about an octogenarian who’s facing what could be for her, a life sentence. Doris Payne is 81 ...

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CowJews and Indians: Even Saul Wouldn’t Take This Call

    The subtitle for this movie is:  “How Hitler Scared My Family -and I Woke Up in an Iroquois Longhouse with a Profile of Jesus, Reminding Me -for the Wrong Reason-That I Owe the Mohawks Rent.” I am not making this up. Le Movie Snob proposes instead:  “Are You F*****g KIDDING ME????? “ That the director and subject, Marc Halberstadt, who runs AAA Analogy Services -I’m not ...

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Cairo 678 -“678”

   I never thought the notion that women have it good in Saudi Arabia would ever occur to me, let alone write those words in that precise syntax.   Apart from being forced to wear the most extreme covering garment, the niquab, which makes them look like ninjas, women are not allowed to leave their home without an escort.  The escort must be a man (of course): the woman’s ...

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The Deflowering of Eva Van End – “De Ontmaagding van Eva van End”

   A logline is a Hollywood-speak equation used to pitch movies to simple-minded, artistically-disabled studio suits in shorthand so one doesn’t waste their energy and spirit trying to explain what one’s proposed project is really about.  If one wants to get their project considered, one must reduce their artistic vision to a hybrid of two previously made movies; hopefully one can find two (three is pushing it) appropriate ...

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Blue Is The Warmest Color Review – Chapter 1

As is my practice, I have not read any other film critics’ reviews of Blue Is The Warmest Color so as not to be consciously or unconsciously influenced by their opinions.  I would not want to find myself in the kind of situation Robin Thicke is currently in with his song “Blurry Lines,” whose resemblance to Marvin Gaye’s superior “Got To Give It Up” is not as blurry ...

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Populaire: A movie that will never have the chance to live up to its title.

Eh ben oui, Populaire is about to disappear from les cinémas after only a week, but Blue Jasmine, The Butler, (ugh!) Thank You For Sharing are sticking around.  Hopefully Le Movie Snob’s review will prompt you to move this movie to the top of your à voir list, despite other worthy choices like Enough Said. Pardonnez-moi for a moment while I complain as if were an actual French national before I ...

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Salinger:  It Sucks. Big Time.

Salinger: It Sucks. Big Time.

   “The problem with you, Joyce, is that you love the world.  You have spent your life writing meaningless garbage, and now you need to exploit me.” -J.D. Salinger to former lover Joyce Maynard when she visited his home to inform him she was writing a memoir that would include details of their relationship. “The problem with Shane Salerno is that he has spent his career writing high-concept ...

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