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Les Pires – Ze Worst Movies Of 2013

 There can be no best without the worst.  I have seen all of these movies in their entirety -including the closing credits with the exception of You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet which I could only watch, with valiant effort, for 20 minutes.  

Here are the deserving designates.  

 

 

1.  The World’s Enda mildly entertaining comedy about 40-something adolescents for the first 30 minutes which then, without warning, morphs into a trying CGI rave about liquified Smurf zombies taking over the world.

 

2.  Thank You For Sharing – Gwyneth Paltrow tries to outstrip Jennifer Aniston (in her lame summer release We Are The Millers) while her A-list co-stars preach to the little people.

 

3.  The Crystal Fairy –  No more Michael Cera movies.  Ever.

 

4.  Salinger let’s hope director/producer/swindler Shane Salerno will be remembered for having laid this malodorous egg rather than having elevated his own stature near to that of his subject.

 

5.  The Place Beyond The Pinesan epic chick flick for people who watch the Superbowl.

 

6.  You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ YetLesson:  pay attention when the words “you,” “see,” and “nothing” are in the movie’s OWN title.  

 

6.  Scatter my Ashes At Bergdorf’sit doesn’t feel so “aspirational” when you realize the title is a death wish.

 

7.   Behind The Candelabraan opportunity wasted to teach future generations about the true king of Bling.

 

8.   Admission Tina Fey should stick to her day job(s).

 

9.  Kevin Hart:  Let Me Explain – he never explains why he ISN’T funny.

 

10.  Unfinished Song this movie was filmed “in England” and features a Hallmark-style dedication text card from the writer/director.

About 

This site was borne of my passion for movies, particularly French films. I have spent time in France and am fluent in the language, hence the “le”. The “snob” part, while of French origin, is not meant to intimidate, but rather an effort to reclaim the word from the pretentious, just as the gay community has done with the word “queer.” We’re all snobs; we all like what we like.

One comment

  1. Haha. I laughed out loud at every one of these. Thanks for saving me a few hours of my life.

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